Friday, July 10, 2015

Travel Update

It's been a while since I sat down to write on here. There have been some pretty significant changes in this year of journeying. I always felt this was a safe place to express my feelings and work out some of my ponderings, however when I am privately approached by someone accusing me of writing a veiled message to them, it makes one feel it isn't so safe. After some time, I have chosen to return to one of my outlets. I don't know how many people read this, but it truly is my place to write out my thoughts and feelings. If it touches someone else and helps them on their journey, then I am grateful. If it is just thrown out into the world wide web to never be read by anyone, then I've still exercised the opportunity to process what is going on in my head. So, if you are reading this, I encourage you to take what works for you and leave the rest for another time or person.

2015 is halfway over and I continue on quite the journey, for sure. My career continues to shift, leaving me to wonder what in the world it will look like this time next year...or in the next five years. God never ceases to amaze me as He plants seeds of contacts, ideas, and other building blocks for my private practice. I moved into a new office space last month that is pretty incredible. I still share a suite of offices with other colleagues, though we all have so much more space. I'll likely be there for at least the next three years. I'm curious as to what it will all look like by then. I remain in awe that clients or friends of clients will refer people to me for counseling, that pastors will send parishioners to me, fellow hospital social workers, previous clients returning after several months, etc. Another interesting part of this journey is my confidence level in my career. For someone who has struggled so hard with self-image and self confidence, this building confidence is a bit of a shock to my system.

In my personal life, there are other changes. People who meant the world to me have chosen to discredit years of close relationship and move on with their lives. I wish we could

have sat down and discussed the feelings and clarify possible miscommunication, yet I have to respect the feelings of the others and wait for an open door. Hurtful words spoken and relationships ended this way is not a part of the journey that is pleasant. I pray that the door opens again and God do what only He can do with these children of His. I also recently heard that there are people who I believed accepted me as family, have an issue with my presence at gatherings. Do I confront this issue or do I just wait it out? The past few years have involved several issues with relationships in my life. My first question is, obviously, to wonder if I have done something wrong in the relationship. What happens when I realize that my role involved my desire to have open/honest communication, acceptance, and accountability? Are these concepts wrong? What kind of person do I want to be in relationships? Do I want to be what someone referred to as a "bobble-head friend"? Do I want competition in my relationships? For the record, I was raised in a home of athletes, FULL of competition. I know competition more than I ever wanted to know. To be honest, I hate competition, especially in relationships. Remember the acceptance, open/honest communication, and accountability that I mentioned? What role does competition have in these healthy relationship tools? No so much, I would bet. 

One of the biggest parts of my journey this year has been my relationship with God. I have found myself spending more and more time reading God's Word, standing on the foundation that my faith has been built upon. One of our pastors mentioned a while back about the idea of "the first 15." This was about dedicating the first part of the day with God. Most of my time with God had historically been at night, as I tend to be a night person. Okay, actually through all of my life I have been a night person. Just ask my parents. (LOL!) What I discovered is, by bookending my days in time with God, it keeps my focus on Him. This is my favorite part of my journey this year. Getting to know more about God's character and embracing my walk with Him is something I would like to make sure I continue for a long time. To be honest, this part of my journey is what has gotten me through the tough parts of my journey through 2015. Learning to accept God's love for me, that I was created in His image, and that His plans are always the best and successful, is not easy to grasp for sure, but definitely worthwhile.

I'd like to end this post with the other thing that has been my focus on this year's journey. Gratitude. I can be grateful for the times had and the memories created with people currently in my life and those no longer actively involved with me. I can give the hurt to God and ask Him to renew dismembered relationships and continue to love these folks through His lens. I can worry about my career and whether or not it will succeed and allow me to appropriately support myself or I can be grateful for the amazing opportunity to love my clients through God's lens. I can be grateful that God gives me the honor to walk through difficult journeys with people who are struggling and hurting. Sometimes I have a hard time accepting that He trusts me with that honor and privilege. 
I am grateful for so many things in my life.
                                                A home that is safe and comfortable. 
                                                                Dependable transportation.
                                The privilege of being Mom to two AMAZING children. 
That God put His protective arms around my son in the middle of dangerous situations. 
The ability to work towards being debt free, hopefully in the foreseeable future.
That I get to live with my best friend and my daughter as my roommates.
          The freedom to worship God if, when, and how I choose.
The opportunity to eat a healthy diet and attempt to take care of the body God has given me. After surviving cancer and dealing with chronic pain/illness, I realize how tenuous life and health can be.
The honor to pray with my clients when they ask and to incorporate faith and Scripture in therapy when requested by my clients. 
The freedom to be myself and be real in all aspects of my life.
Fun times with family this summer.
The honor to have been invited to celebrate several graduations and a wedding with friends and family. 
The opportunity to travel this summer. ROAD TRIP, HERE WE COME!! 


"To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of His calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by His power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ." ~  2 Thessalonians 1:11-12



"For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving," ~ 1 Timothy 4:4


"I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul makes it's boast in the Lord; let the humble hear and be glad. Oh, magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together! I sought the Lord, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed." ~ Psalm 34:1-5



all contents (c 2015) Laura Inglis