In the Middle of 2020

When I last posted on here, we were just beginning this decade, with hope and excitement. There was curiosity about what the 2020's held for us. Just a couple of months into the year/decade, we were introduced to COVID19 and our lives began to change. Shoot. Our world changed. Not just our country, but our world. Fear of becoming ill began to run rampant. Tens of thousands of people all over Earth were stricken and passed away. People became quarantined; schools closed down; businesses closed; families were separated; seamstresses and crafters began creating masks when there wasn't enough protection equipment to protect medical professionals and first responders, then passing them onto the general public; and life became more different than anyone could have predicted. Many felt that 2020 brought us into the middle of a science fiction movie and the economic stability plummeted. People were unable to pay their rent, their mortgages, buy groceries, pay bills. The government did what they could do to help by opening up options for unemployment, offered stimulus packages, postponed IRS filing, deferred student loan payments and other payments to help people navigate their budgets.

As the year has continued, the world started working on opening up, the bitterness and hostility that had built up in society exploded. People tired of being locked down; of the government deciding what we were allowed to or not allowed to do; and felt increasingly isolated. I believe that the tension, depression, and anxiety build-up opened the door to the only thing possible. People craved interaction with others; physical touch; independence; and freedom. As the months moved on, emotions built-up, and bred anger. Racial inequality became the focus. Social distancing became a second thought and righteous anger took over. After African Americans were murdered and society did what happened far too many times.... The dead were not validated and those who murdered them were not called to justice. What began as a plea for justice became nationwide civil unrest. What began as people begging to be treated equally and fairly, fueled by built up emotions from the past few months as well as racism that our country started with.

Racism, in my opinion, began in the U.S. when those who relocated from other countries chose to take away from those who already inhabited our country. As time and years passed on, we forgot that we were the newly created melting pot. Instead of melting together, we strained those "ingredients" that were different and labeled them as "less-than." As years progressed, some people maintained that view and treated those "different" people quite cruelly, even inexplicably murdering them, producing fear in populations of people who aren't the same; producing a perception of privilege that one group was "better-than" others. One group against another and against another and against another. The "United" States became less and less united in various time periods... Including the middle of 2020.

In the midst of the changes in our society through COVID19 and now the rioting/looting and protests, my heart began crying. I read arguments between people who are friends, between families. The worst part of this time period to me? The divisiveness in our community. The loss of relationships when people disagree has always been a concern, but this period seems to be even worse than I've seen. The middle of 2020 has brought increasing isolation and increasing conflict/division in a world that I love so much. I will often write a rant when I see things going sideways, when I feel I have to fight for a justice. My words won't come this time. As I try to process everything happening, this verse came to mind.

"A wise man holds his tongue." ~ Proverbs 10:14

I realized that neither side will hear rational thought. Verbal de-escalation isn't working. Mediation isn't working. I'm one of the population deemed privileged without anyone knowing my background or experiences. The majority that I see and hear are invalidating one another's side. My heart breaks. I love with my whole heart. The lives of those who are protesting. The lives of those who are hurting and struggling. The lives of those who have been lost so tragically. Those servants who are trying to maintain peace and safety. Jesus said we are even to love those who are so hateful. I refuse to be one who responds to hate and anger with hate and anger. My heart hopes with all I have in me that the middle of 2020 becomes the turning point. Is it possible to hope that the second half of 2020 brings peace from this turmoil? That at some point we will be unified?

I know that 2020 holds more change in my own life that I'll share in another post at some point. What I don't know is what the big picture of 2020 looks like as a whole for the world. Will you do something with me? Will you pray for the bitterness to dissipate? For us to remember that we are a melting pot that requires the ingredients of each and every one of us to make it the beautiful and flavorful creation that was envisioned so long ago.

all contents (c) 2020 Laura Inglis

LIFE IN THE MIDDLE

This year, the word that continues to be repetitive in my life has been "middle." What an odd word for my word of the year was my initial thought. The more I pondered it, the more it began to start making sense. My hope is that, as the year progresses, I will understand why this is my focus for the year.

According to Merriam Webster's Dictionary, the definition of "middle" is 

"Equally distant from the extremes; being at neither extreme"

"Constituting a period of a language or literature intermediate between one called OLD and one called NEW or MODERN"

"Typically asserting that a person or thing both performs and is affected by the action represented"

"The central portion of the human body"

"The position of being among or in the midst of something"

"The center of an offensive or defensive formation" 

 As I typically do, I went to Scripture and did a little research on what it says about middle. What I found was pretty fascinating and certainly peaked my interest and caused me to pause. As the dictionary provides different descriptions of the term "middle," there are many circumstances in the Bible that display those concepts as well.

In Numbers, there is a description of the layout of how the tribes camped in their travels. 

"Then the tent of meeting and the camp of the Levites will set out in the middle of the camps. They will set out in the same order as they encamp, each in their own place under their standard." ~ Numbers 2:17 NIV

To my understanding, the Levites are the people who are set aside as the priests. Further in this passage, the Tent of Meeting was also in the center. The rest of the tribes camped around the Levites and this Holy Place. The Spiritual leaders and the Holy Place were set in the center, with the rest of the tribes surrounding them. While I'm not a theologian, my understanding is this was for multiple purposes. One of these was for safety and protection. I also believe this may have been to set up a core....stability for the tribes. 

Then we have the situations when Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt, through the Red Sea and when Joshua led them through the River Jordan. In both of these experiences, God divided the waters and the Israelites walked on dry land.

"Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and all that night the Lord drove the sea back with a strong east wind and turned it into dry land. The waters were divided, and the Israelites went through the sea on dry ground, with a wall of water on their right and on their left."

~ Exodus 14:21-22 NIV

"Now the Jordan is at flood stage all during harvest. Yet as soon as the priests who carried the ark reached the Jordan and their feet touched the water's edge, the water from upstream stopped flowing. It piled up in a heap a great distance away, at a town called Adam in the vicinity of Zarethan, while the water flowing down to the Sea of the Dead Sea was completely cut off. So the people crossed over opposite Jericho. The priests who carried the ark of the covenant of the Lord stopped in the middle of the Jordan and stood on dry ground, while all Israel passed by until the whole nation had completed the crossing on dry ground."

~ Joshua 3:15-17 NIV 

These particular passages describe how God is in the middle and how He performs miracles in the middle. Of course then there are the other times when we are in the middle.

"Then the angel of God, who had been traveling in front of Israel's army, withdrew and went behind them. The pillar of cloud also moved from in front and stood behind them, coming between the armies of Egypt and Israel. Throughout the night the cloud brought darkness to the one side and light to the other side; so neither went near the other all night long."

~ Exodus 14:19-20 NIV 

"You are all around me - in front and in back - and have put your hand on me." ~ Psalm 139:5 NCV 

 So God is present on either side, before us and behind us...and has His hands on us. What about in the midst of time? 

"Yahweh, I have heard of your fame. I stand in awe of your deeds, Yahweh. Renew your work in the middle of the years. In the middle of the years make it known. In wrath, you remember mercy." ~ Habakkuk 3:2 WEB

 "Lord, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, Lord. Repeat them in our day, in our time make them known; in wrath remember mercy." ~ Habakkuk 3:2 NIV

As I was researching all of this, I was reminded of something else that totally caused me to pause. 

"There they crucified him, and with him two others - one on each side and Jesus in the middle." ~ John 19:18 NIV

WOW! Wait. What? Jesus was in the middle between two criminals. I knew that, but I never put that together with Him being in the middle.

"One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: 'Aren't you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!' But the other criminal rebuked him. 'Don't you fear God,' he said, ' since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.' Then he said, 'Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.' Jesus answered him, 'Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.'" ~ Luke 23:39-43 NIV

All of this caused me to take a look at my life and wonder about the times I'm in the middle or times when God is in the middle. Do I follow Him when He's leading? Do I trust that He's coming up behind me and protecting me?

My life this year finds me in many middles. Various situations when I find a need to step out in faith to move forward, to trust, to know that God is behind me, in front of me, and standing in the middle with me. There are work changes. There are ministry changes. There are home changes. And possibly more changes that I don't even know yet. Walking by faith, not by sight. Following what I'm told. I don't know what it all looks like. I don't know all of the instructions. What I do know, is that God will be in front of me, behind me, and with me.

"You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.'" ~ 2 Chronicles 2:17 NIV

 This is a song that has been following me lately. It completely continues to remind me of how God is ALWAYS there...... As I journey through the changes of 2020, I must remember that He tells me not to be afraid because He will always be with me. 

I put the lyrics under the video in case you'd like to read them while you listen. I know it helped me.

Another In The Fire

Hillsong UNITED

There's a grace when the heart is under fire
Another way when the walls are closing in
And when I look at the space between
Where I used to be and this reckoning
I know I will never be alone

There was another in the fire
Standing next to me
There was another in the waters
Holding back the seas
And should I ever need reminding
Of how I've been set free
There is a cross that bears the burden
Where another died for me
There is another in the fire

All my debt left for dead beneath the waters
I'm no longer a slave to my sin anymore
And should I fall in the space between
What remains of me and this reckoning
Either way I won't bow to the things of this world
And I know I will never be alone

There is another in the fire
Standing next to me
There is another in the waters
Holding back the seas
And should I ever need reminding
What power set me free
There is a grave that holds no body
And now that power lives in me
There is another in the fire, oh
There is another in the fire, whoa
There is another in the fire, whoa
There is another in the fire, oh
I can see

And I can see the light in the darkness
As the darkness bows to Him
I can hear the roar in the heavens
As the space between wears thin
I can feel the ground shake beneath us
As the prison walls cave in
Nothing stands between us
Nothing stands between us

There is no other name but the name that is Jesus
He who was and still is, and will be through it all
So come what may in the space between
All the things unseen and this reckoning
And I know I will never be alone
And I know I will never be alone

There'll be another in the fire
Standing next to me
There'll be another in the waters
Holding back the seas
And should I ever need reminding
How good You've been to me
I'll count the joy come every battle
'Cause I know that's where You'll be
I can see the light

And I can see the light in the darkness
As the darkness bows to Him
I can hear the roar in the heavens
As the space between wears thin
I can feel the ground shake beneath us
As the prison walls cave in
Nothing stands between us
Nothing stands between

There'll be another in the fire
Standing next to me
There'll be another in the waters
Holding back the seas
And should I ever need reminding
How good You've been to me
I'll count the joy come every battle
'Cause I know that's where You'll be

Count the joy come every battle
'Cause I know that's where You'll be
I'll count the joy come every battle
'Cause I know that's where You'll be, sing it again
I'll count the joy come every battle
'Cause I know that's where You'll be
I'll count the joy come every battle
'Cause I know that's where You'll be

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Chris Davenport / Joel Timothy Houston

Another In The Fire lyrics © Capitol Christian Music Group 

all contents (c) 2020 Laura Inglis

The Serenity of 2019

As I was pondering the year 2019, I realized that I have not posted anything on here for an entire year. My most recent post was exactly a year ago today. I started to write a post a few different times throughout the year but nothing ever went further than part of a draft. I just could not get my brain to pull a post together. All of a sudden, over the past few days, my brain started cranking again so I thought I would attempt to put some thoughts on here. As I began this particular post, I realized that I only posted once in 2018 as well. I guess the past two years have been more experiential in processing what God is doing in my life. Much more living in the moment and reflecting with 20-20 hindsight. 

This past year has held so much change for me in many places. As I began the year, I believed that my word was "serenity." Per the Cambridge Dictionary, the term "serenity" means the quality of being peaceful and calm. As I perused Scripture, serenity is often expressed as tranquil and/or peaceful. Looking back at the year, I can see where God has blessed me with this concept, even when I was in the middle of such great change and a ton of trauma and uncertainty. So much stirring that the evil one has often come completely unhinged in attempting to tear me down in my personal and professional life. 

My year began while on a Christmas trip to my hometown area with my daughter, my best friend, and my best friend's parents. My parents and her parents have become friends through the 20 years of Patty and my friendship. Shortly before we headed there, Patty's mom began experiencing some significant nerve pain, causing an issue with her mobility and comfort. While we were in Savannah, my dad began not feeling well. Both of these situations caused a few small hiccups on our trip, however we all had a wonderful time together. I bring this up because, shortly into the new year and a brief time after our return home, my dad was found to have blood clots and serious heart blockages, requiring heart surgery and lifelong medication. Followed by that news, Patty's mom was discovered to have a rare type of cancer. These were definitely jolts to everyone. A note to ease things, both of them are fine. Dad is healing nicely and Patty's mom is done with chemo and we're claiming the cancer is gone. It's sure hard to hold onto peace when stuff like this is happening.

A week prior to our trip down south, I made a commitment to myself to get physically healthy. I began a nutrition plan 3-1/2 years ago that I continue using, then last year I challenged myself to start a workout program. After my own battle with cancer, watching my dad's health become it's own conflict, and Patty's mom struggling with pain and cancer, I chose to make getting myself healthy a priority. For the past year, I've completed 20-40 minute workouts near daily and feel so much better. Hiking has become much less of a challenge; I've been able to start lifting free weights; and can even do burpees without modifying. Most of the modifying I do now are due to arthritis in my hands and knees. My hope is that one day the arthritis will get with the program and let me do more intensity. Starting a workout program certainly brought up some serious struggles inside of me. If it were not for my best friend, my daughter, a friend who is also my coach, and a group of friends I met through this workout program, I would not have been steadfast in this area. I began to recognize my challenges and competitive nature. The idea of modifying moves was quite humbling. Not being able to do even modified moves is super frustrating. The faster the moves get and the more complicated, the more frustrated I can become. I nearly gave up several times, but I always picked it back up and am so glad I did. While my before/after photos don't show dramatic change through the year, my current photo compared with when I first started this journey definitely does. I'm actually pretty excited to see the change in another year. Somewhere along the line, the frustration and steadfastness have switched places and I have embraced serenity and this has become a part of my daily routine.

One of the struggles with working out involves lack of coordination. I jokingly (okay, only halfway joke) that I am unable to clap my hands and stomp my feet at the same time. Working out has historically been a problem for me due to this inability. A former friend was unfortunately witness to this frustration back in the day of aerobics classes. She witnessed either language that I am not proud of coming out of my mouth, or I would leave in the middle of a class in tears....Once she found me sitting in the sauna in a puddle of tears. I figured the tears would dry quickly while in there. This year, I volunteered to participate in our bi-annual Spring Tea at church. I told them I could sing and act.....so they assigned me to be part of the dances. We were dancing to several songs from the show "The Greatest Showman." I nearly quit that as well, due to tearful frustration. However my castmates and the choreographers convinced me to stay, even informing me that I have some "good lines" and can indeed learn to dance. I am still not so sure about that, but my serenity came from the involvement with the program. I hope the attendees were able to see many people in various shapes, sizes, ages, and abilities do the best we could and step out of our boxes.

In November, my best friend and I had the opportunity to celebrate our birthdays in Las Vegas while attending Donny and Marie Osmond's final show. Watching this show brought tears to my eyes as I do love performing. I always have. Dancing in the Spring Tea and then witnessing the performance in Vegas definitely refreshed my passion for performing. My hope is that one day I will find my place in that world. 

As far as my business goes, there have been some conflicts in that arena. These conflicts have been primarily financial struggles while dealing with insurance companies. After six years of trying so hard to do business with them, I made a very difficult decision this year to discontinue my relationship with all of them. Their mission and mine have proven to not be aligned in any way. They have caused some pretty intensive financial difficulties this year so, effective January 1, 2020, I have chosen to become a fully out of pocket private practitioner. This was quite the ethical dilemma on my part, as I understand the importance and need for many people to depend on their insurance companies to pay for treatment. I have been in that arena for much of my life so I totally understand that. The peace came when I realized that this is due to the decisions of the insurance companies, not mine. I realized that, ethically, my decision to remove myself from underneath their methods of doing business was a better match for my practice. I get to finally do my work based on my client's needs and desires, not on insurance demands. This will certainly help as I navigate the world with clients who are struggling in their lives and/or marriages/relationships, when they are in crisis, when they are fighting to live, when I get to fight with them for them, when they request phone sessions or video sessions.

I also continue to teach Mental Health First Aid and Youth Mental Health First Aid classes. I hoped to be teaching these more frequently, however that has not grown to meet the need quite yet. This is an area that I will continue praying will grow. I have, however, been requested to do more speaking on Love Languages, Boundaries, and Mental Health. This is definitely a surprise to me. To be contacted out of the blue and asked to be a speaker, due to my knowledge, experience, and passion is quite humbling for sure.

Nearly two years ago, we sold our home and moved to a rural area near my office. We moved into a rental townhouse with the belief we may only live there for a short time. Throughout the past couple of years, we kept seeking homes, even believing one of them was to be our new home. As time moved on, I became convicted that we were not grateful for the gifts God had blessed us with. We were so busy looking forward to our new home, that we were losing sight of the gifts He had given us. Once I shifted that thought process, I began to feel increasingly peaceful and calm. Now we have been given new direction. Direction that I will share as we are given more specific details. I realized recently that I feel like a mix of Noah and Abram. Build the boat. Prepare for rain. Move when and where I instruct you to. We have some direction, however I am preparing as I am instructed, step by step.....and am attempting to maintain an attitude of gratitude all the while navigating the unknown. It has been interesting navigating the anxiety of big change while at the same time embracing serenity that God is in charge and will give clear directions when it is His timing.

While pondering all of these situations and experiences over the past year, I compare where I was at the start of this year to where I am now. I have learned to embrace serenity even in these challenges. When finances are tough; when I fear I may not be able to help my clients; when I wonder how I can find an in and educate the community how to help in this current suicide crisis; when I fear that I may make a fool of myself on stage in my speaking engagements, in singing, or even dancing; when I focus so much on getting healthy that I do something wrong and hurt myself; or even fear making big decisions in case I hear or interpret incorrectly. My job is to keep my focus and remember that fear is not of God. 

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you." ~ Isaiah 26:3 (ESV)

"But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."

                                                                               ~ James 3:17-18 (ESV) 

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." ~ Philippians 4:7 (ESV) 

 ".....for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."

                                                                                  ~ 2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV)

 I truly don't know what 2020 holds. What I do know is that this new decade will bring about some pretty significant changes in my life. I think it may be a good time to evaluate the last decade as I prepare for the next one. Hmmm...... 

all contents (c) 2019 Laura Inglis

Coming Full Circle

So after a year of learning to be steadfast, things appear to have shifted gears a bit. Last year, I was focused on really analyzing what I was thinking, believing, or steadfastly moving towards. As 2018 began, I wondered what my word of the year would be, though nothing was appearing. What I did begin to note was some "pulling together" of things that I have been learning and adjusting over the past few years. 

A couple of constant themes in my life have been fear of not being good enough and frustration with being overweight and how both of these substantially affect my worth. Over the past six years, I have been learning how to accept who God created me to be, learning to rest, learning how to return, journeying through life, restoring, and being steadfast. These years of practicing the OneWord365 program began with a cancer diagnosis that has permanently impacted my life and perspective, then added the loss of relationships due to conflict and/or a difference of opinions, death, and moves; professionally going out on my own; and learning how to give me permission to be the woman that God created me to be. Nearly halfway through 2018, I began to notice some things changing within. Now, as I prepare to head into the last day of the year, I look back over the year and confirm significant changes....really growths, to be honest. I believe God gave me this year to look back and see how these words have impacted my life.

I have learned to not fight places and seasons in my life, and rather accept them. To accept who I am and my limitations. I've learned to take the time to rest, realize my limitations and lean into God in all situations. The idea of returning everything to God before I move forward and make decisions that are God-led instead of me-led can still be a struggle for this independent, stubborn woman. I'm learning that I am, however, capable IF I am cautious to assure I have returned these decisions and situations to God first and foremost. I have learned that life is indeed, a journey. That makes me ponder the Israelites. They repeatedly suffered consequences for not accepting, resting, or returning while on their journeys. Do I follow their lead in becoming impatient and impulsive or do I look at the journey and accept, rest, and return? Do I continually seek the difference on the journey between confidence and arrogance? What about seeking a way to set effective boundaries that are led by Scripture, including resting in the Sabbath? God then took me through a time of restoration and learning how to be steadfast. I thought the first few years were challenging, until the most recent words involved the next level of growth. Allowing God to restore me to the woman He created me to be and teaching me to be steadfast in that knowledge, involved letting go of the what I believed I knew to be true and allowing necessary healing for scars left behind. Instead of fearing success or failure, take each step as I see God shine the light on the path. Don't look too far ahead. Allow God to be my GPS without worrying about if I'm good enough. 

2018 has taught me to recognize that God has given me the skills and the talents to accomplish whatever roles He has sent me to do. It has been so interesting over the past month to process the affirmations that God has sent my way. People affirming the work that I do in my office, my ability to be a skilled instructor for Mental Health First Aid, how God uses my singing in the choir to draw people into worship, that people can feel the Holy Spirit's presence in my office suite, and on and on. It's been humbling to experience again and again how God is using me and my journey to speak to others. And to think, all I had to do was stay steadfast in this journey God has taken me on. Others may or may not like me, think like me, care about my perspective, or appreciate my way of doing things. It has taken a long time, but I am learning how to not let these feelings of others negatively impact me. I'd like to think that my opinion means something to people who are important to me, but it doesn't always and that's okay. My feelings or opinions are just as valid as anyone else. It's so sad that it's taken me 52 years to realize that. I guess that makes sense why God would give me a year to pull all of these words and lessons together so my hard head could catch up. HAHA!! Now we see what 2019 has in store for me. 



all contents (c) 2011-2019 Laura Inglis

Storms and the Unknown

Do you ever have those days when you wonder what in the world is happening around you?  Times when you feel you're following God's leading, yet roadblock after roadblock pops up? Or times when your decisions cause other issues that have negative affects in your life? I recently told a group of dear friends how I feel that there's a storm brewing in my life's future. The winds of which are picking up all sorts of random situations in my life and creating some pretty significant unknowns.

During my life, I have struggled with feeling at home anywhere. I have lived in five different states, in more than 20 different homes. The first time I ever felt homesick was at 24yrs old after my firstborn was four months old and I had taken him to meet family in the state where I grew up. I had only lived in Washington for two years, yet missed it horribly while we were gone. In those two years, the Puget Sound area had become my home. Even when my best friend and I purchased our home in 2003, I realized that I did not feel this house was my home. Fast forward to the past four years since I opened my private practice in a rural part of a different county from where I live. Eventually I began realizing how much I felt at home in this city. Every time I leave for the drive home, something just feels wrong, like I'm going away from my home, not TO my home. Then when I'm driving around the rural city, something feels right. All of that to say that my family has decided to sell our home after 14-1/2yrs and relocate to the little rural city where i work. I truly never thought that I would ever move again.

When we purchased this house, I actually told my children to just bury me in the backyard,

that I never wanted to move again. HAHA!! My son says he is shocked that we are moving out of the home where he spent his teen years and where my daughter was raised. This involves much packing of oh so many boxes and boxes and boxes. Also, a question that many people have asked, is where exactly are we moving. Well..... we don't have that figured out yet. Are we going to purchase a house in this limited inventory and seller's market or are we going to rent a home for the short term until something we're interested in pops up? I have absolutely no idea. The only thing I do know is that we are hoping to put the house on the market within a week and do not anticipate it taking long to sell. SO between our realtor and mortgage broker, we may be living in a rental home or our own new home by the end of 2017. BIG change and HUGE unknown.

Another large change and unknown is the future of my practice. A colleague and good friend even put in hours of work to create a new logo for me. A wonderful new logo!! I love it!! I felt

very strongly that I was supposed to expand into a larger suite of four offices, a lobby, and a kitchen. This involved more than tripling my business expenses. While I do have another Christian social worker on board with me, it is taking a bit longer than anticipated for her business to take off for her to work full-time. I also thought I may have begun working with an intern or two by now. There is such a massive need for more people to provide mental health services to those in our area. SO many teens who are struggling, marriages that are on the edge of a cliff, and families that are divided in difficult ways for numerous reasons. I field many phone calls from people in the community and from insurance companies who are attempting to access care. Care that is a challenge to find due to full caseloads, high insurance deductibles or lack of enough providers that are paneled with all of the insurances. I have pretty decent boundaries, however it is horribly painful to have to turn people down due to a full caseload or the client is not a good fit for my type of therapy. You see, I don't work with children under middle school or with older adults. There is a need for my practice to expand. Yet I often wonder how I can expect to continually afford this increase in expenses.

Another endeavor has been becoming certified as a Youth Mental Health First Aid trainer. It cost  a great deal of money to undergo this training so we can attempt to help people know

how to work with youth. We are losing entirely too many youth to suicide. So many youth who want only to be understood. They are the future of our community. We MUST learn how to interact with them. To encourage them, mentor them. Learn how to communicate with them. I have found a strong passion for this idea. My frustration is that while a lot of people express interest in this training, it has been quite difficult to schedule enough people to take the training. I almost feel crazy because I recently registered to take the Adult Mental Health First Aid instructor training after the first of the year. Also not cheap, yet also very important for the community. I have to wonder at what point these trainings will produce the needed results, as I feel in some way that this is a large part of my ministry to the community. To love and support, to educate, and hopefully

inspire people to make a difference in the lives of people who are hurting and struggling.

These scenarios are all taking up a significant portion of my life at this current moment. And I have not mentioned the recent death of a good friend to cancer, at 45yrs old - FAR too young.....and the anticipated death of my best friend's 45yr old sister who is currently on hospice care due to other health issues. And then another good friend who just got the cancer diagnosis and is struggling to even find treatment due to not having health insurance.... Super scary. Since my divorce, I have often desired to find a man in my life, but to be honest, right now, I am grateful that I am not married. My mind and my life is taken up by all of this that I don't know how much I would have left for a relationship with a partner. What about the fear (valid or not, it still sits there) of the cancer returning in my body? They are taking up my time, my finances, and much of my mind power. My desire is to walk where God is calling me to walk. To go where He is leading me. Then I remember my word for the year. Being steadfast. God's steadfast love.

Steadfast - firmly fixed in place, immovable, not subject to change, firm in belief, determination, or adherence, loyal  

"Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."  ~ 1 Corinthians 15:58

"Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!" ~ Psalm 107:1

While it often feels like a storm is brewing outside of my life recently, I believe it will behoove me to keep this in mind. To keep my focus on God, on my calling, and take my days step by step. To know that God will keep His promises and never forsake me, never leave me. That if He is calling us to move to a new home, HE will work out the logistics. If HE is calling for changes to my business, then HE will take care of the conflicts. And if HE is calling me to certain purposes, then I might recognize that I have to walk the walk God has provided light on for me to walk. God is also the calmer of the storms. He can calm the storm OR He can calm me. 

all contents (c) 2017 Laura Inglis

Getting To Biblically Know the Word "Steadfast"

I was pondering the word "steadfast" as I was reading the Bible (specifically Psalm 107) the other day and I had an idea. My word of the year is in so many places in Scripture, and if God is trying to help me get to know His steadfast love, then why don't I take a hard look at each of the places where this word is mentioned? I accepted that challenge and am starting with the first time it's mentioned (at least where I've found so far) in the Bible. I will try to do this on a fairly regular basis, dependent on my schedule and how long it takes me to process these passages. 

"Then Abram believed in (affirmed, trusted in, relied on, remained steadfast to) the Lord; and He counted (credited) it to him as righteousness (doing right in regard to God and man)." ~ Genesis 15:6 (AMP)

In this passage, God and Abram are having a conversation in which God makes a covenant with Abram. The covenant that many of us have heard about through the years. One that foretold of the Israelite nation through Abram's lineage, even though Abram had no descendants.  

"He took him outside and said, “Look up at the sky and count the stars—if indeed you can count them.” Then he said to him, “So shall your offspring be.” ~ Genesis 15:5 (NIV)

There is no reason Abram "should" have believed that he would have anyone in his bloodline in which to leave behind an inheritance. God had been promising this large inheritance from the time Abram's father, Terah, died in Haran. 

"The Lord said to Abram, “Leave your country, your relatives, and your father’s family, and go to the land I will show you. 

I will make you a great nation,
    and I will bless you.
I will make you famous,
    and you will be a blessing to others.

I will bless those who bless you,
    and I will place a curse on those who harm you.
And all the people on earth
    will be blessed through you.”

So Abram left Haran as the Lord had told him, and Lot went with him. At this time Abram was 75 years old." ~ Genesis 12:1-4 (NCV)

Then again after they had arrived in Canaan.

"After Lot left, the Lord said to Abram, “Look all around you—to the north and south and east and west. All this land that you see I will give to you and your descendants forever. I will make your descendants as many as the dust of the earth. If anyone could count the dust on the earth, he could count your people. Get up! Walk through all this land because I am now giving it to you.” ~ Genesis 13:14-17 (NCV)

Have you ever felt like God made you a promise? Or told you something that you have waited for either in anticipation or in dread? Then you waited and waited and began to give up hope? Or felt that you "must have heard Him wrong"? Boy howdy. Can I relate to that? God and I have had so many conversations through the years that I "thought" I heard correctly, yet never seemed to come true. At times even, they appear to be less and less possible as time moves on. In these chapters, we see that Abram never even starts to question God's word until chapter 15. After Abram's nephew, Lot had gotten himself into some trouble and Abram had to rescue him. 

"After these things happened, the Lord spoke his word to Abram in a vision: “Abram, don’t be afraid. I will defend you, and I will give you a great reward.” But Abram said, “Lord God, what can you give me? I have no son, so my slave Eliezer from Damascus will get everything I own after I die.” Abram said, “Look, you have given me no son, so a slave born in my house will inherit everything I have.” Then the Lord spoke his word to Abram: “He will not be the one to inherit what you have. You will have a son of your own who will inherit what you have.” Then God led Abram outside and said, “Look at the sky. There are so many stars you cannot count them. Your descendants also will be too many to count.” Abram believed the Lord. And the Lord accepted Abram’s faith, and that faith made him right with God." ~ Genesis 15:1-6 (NCV)

 Abram remained so steadfast to God, that he is mentioned in the "Hall of Faith" in Hebrews 11. 

"It was by faith Abraham obeyed God’s call to go to another place God promised to give him. He left his own country, not knowing where he was to go. It was by faith that he lived like a foreigner in the country God promised to give him. He lived in tents with Isaac and Jacob, who had received that same promise from God. Abraham was waiting for the city that has real foundations—the city planned and built by God.

He was too old to have children, and Sarah could not have children. It was by faith that Abraham was made able to become a father, because he trusted God to do what he had promised. This man was so old he was almost dead, but from him came as many descendants as there are stars in the sky. Like the sand on the seashore, they could not be counted." ~ Hebrews 11:8-12 (NCV)

 Apparently this definition of steadfast is related to having faith, even standing firm in our faith when things look like they could be lost. When finances are tight, seemingly because I did what I felt I was told to do in expanding my practice, donating funds to or for someone or something. When family members appear to be walking further away from God after I feel God has promised me that they will return, that they have a big job in store for them. When things feel so crazy confusing as far as my eyes can see. God has focused me on being steadfast. Believe, affirm, rely on, trust in, and remain steadfast to my Lord. To hold fast to what God has told me, even when all hope seems lost. To keep moving forward, trusting that God will carry me and direct me step by step, if I fully depend on only Him.






all contents (c) 2017 Laura Inglis

Staying Steadfast is NOT Always the Easiest Thing to Do

I realize that I have not written on here in quite a while. My reputation has become one of a "crazy busy" person. Between my business, ministry at my church, and wonderful time with my family, life can get fairly slammed.I am beginning to learn that, standing steadfast is important to prevent my chaotic life from swaying me to and fro, and is much more difficult than this very strong-willed woman can sometimes embrace.

It seems like every couple of years, my life finds it's way into extraordinary changes.This

year is no different. Earlier this year, after turning down far, far more people than I felt was acceptable, the idea of expanding my practice became increasingly real. The conflict with this is that I had already been scheduling 30 clients per week. Anymore than that, I ran a significant risk in burning myself out. That certainly wouldn't be a good idea after all of the years of education and working so hard to get to where I was. Another option was to find a larger office suite and bring other social workers under the umbrella of Serenity Hope Counseling, PLLC (SHC). A faith-based agency of social workers to provide help and support to the East Pierce County community. Fortunately, an office suite opened up in the same building I've been in for the past two years, though I still had an additional year on my lease. After a long line of help and support from some colleagues and friends, I was able to move into the four office suite. One of the dilemmas is that this suite is more than triple the cost for my work financial budget. OH.....another important piece of information? Around this same time, a wonderful clinician who I got to meet and work with when I worked at the ER reconnected with me and had been feeling led to enter this world of private practice.

Just prior to signing the lease of my suite this Spring, I was also notified of an opportunity to take a five day training to become an instructor for Youth Mental Health First Aid. For the first time in several years, the training took place in Seattle, making it very accessible for me. The issue is that most people's companies will pay for their training and they still get their paychecks. For me, I had to pay the $2000 tuition and miss a week of work. ACK!! On the other hand, there was this opportunity to be trained to teach the community of people who work with youth how to recognize and deal with mental and behavioral health. We would be trained on how to help stop the stigma of mental health. To raise up a generation of people to learn that the brain is a part of the body and mental illness is a physical illness. To help the youth that we work with realize their worth. How could I decline this chance?

AND last Fall, I felt very strongly that I needed to make some family memories 

by taking a vacation with my kids, my best friend, and my ex-husband. We started making plans to take a long awaited trip to Philadelphia, New York City, and Washington D.C. Nonrefundable tickets that were purchased as plans were made for this vacation.There will be more on this trip in another post. SO, let's look at this timing.
March - take Mental Health First Aid instructor training
May 15th - finally hired a medical billing company to handle my claims and billing
June 1st - got the key for my new office suite - painting and prepping for business ensues
June 15th - moved into the new office suite and out of previous office
June 29-July 15th - vacation
September 1st - planned start of new clinician at SHC



And these are just the highlights. Other things include ministry, including facilitating a 10 week spiritual transformation class and singing in the choir.

As I write this, there are so many things playing in my head. Financial difficulties due to so many of these decisions, as well as insurance delays, etc. The question begs to be asked, "What do I do to get myself out of this?" Do I apply to return to the ER? Will SHC make it through this transition? Did I make mistakes? Did I overstep what I believed God was calling me to do? Was I wrong? Was I not a good steward of what God has blessed me with? Finances have been the thorn in my side for many, many years. Over the past several, things had appeared to be improving, yet...here I go again. Sigh.

As I ponder all of this, I look around my personal life and my professional life. I see a minimum of six marriages of friends that are at huge risk for divorce. A couple of husbands are not living at home. I was a witness at several of their weddings. My heart is breaking for these families. A few weeks ago, I also found out that it is likely I have been manipulated and lied to by a long term client. A domestic violence situation that I missed. Words that were spoken to the wife that were the same as were spoken to me when I was still married. Actions reported by the wife brought back flashbacks of what I experienced. I often kind of pride myself in being able to identify DV in relationships. I missed this one. Does that mean I've been missing things in other situations? With other clients?

I was in a session the other day in which I was talking to the client about armoring up with the full armor of God. As I was speaking to the client, I flashed back to a conversation that God and I had a long time ago in which God asked me why I let someone have so much power over me. Reminding me that our battle is not with flesh and blood, but against the spiritual forces of evil. That I am to buckle up with the belt of truth. As I was in the session, the words that crossed my mind were "why are you letting these issues have so much power over you?" The following question for myself was asking if I was remaining steadfast. Am I being blown and tossed about by the waves of life or standing firm with the belt of truth buckled around my waist?

What about relationships with family members? With friends? People I thought were friends who don't return calls or messages, or who walk away when I try to speak with them? "Friends" who attempt to slander my name, my reputation by choosing to make comments about my spiritual journey, my wisdom, or my ability to be a therapist? I have spent the past little while pondering all of these things through the perspective of being steadfast. Financial struggles, moving into a new office suite, relationships gone awry, physical health, etc.... I have recently found myself watching a few series' on Netflix that are political in theme. A phrase I hear spoken in several of them is "I serve at the pleasure of the president of the United States." That caused me to pause as I realized that I serve at the pleasure of the Lord Jesus Christ. WOW!! In all of these situations, the bottom line for me is, what would my Lord want me to do? How would my Commander in Chief (God) want me to respond? 

"All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." ~ 1 Peter 5:5b-10 NIV

I am to be steadfast. I am to stand firm with the full armor of God in place. I am to love God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength and I am to love my neighbor as myself. Be steadfast in what I know to be true. This weekend a dear friend got married. She asked me to participate in her wedding by none other than....singing a solo.... "You want me to do what?! Surely you don't want THAT?!" Though I was completely honored to be asked, I was terrified to do this. Sign a song? Sure. I can do that. But SING? I haven't sang a solo since my 21yr old was 2yrs old. It's been a long, long time. I'll spare you the details of the battle that ensued for the past 6 or so months. I'll just say that I did honor her request and an honor it was. I was quite proud of myself, actually. Not because I feel I did well, but because I let my heart sing for my friend and her husband. The affirming words from those in the wedding attendees meant a lot, however, what meant the most were the tears in my friend's eyes when she listened to the song they chose. Because I chose to be steadfast, I was able to give her the gift she most wanted from me. It wasn't about my voice. It was about my heart. Maybe this is the part that I need to embrace for the rest of the year. My prayer:

"Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin!" ~ Psalm 51:1-2

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit." ~ Psalm 51:10-12

Did you notice what I saw in this passage? God's love is steadfast. Maybe this year has been about recognizing and embracing the love of my Father. That searching for His steadfast love will provide the healing, the validation, affirmation, and the guidance I've been seeking for so long. Something to definitely ponder.


all contents (c) 2017 Laura Inglis