Sunday, August 18, 2013

Just over halfway through a year of REST?

I recently realized how long it has been since I have written on here, so I thought it was time to pop in and update on my goal of learning to acquaint myself with the word "Rest." It has been so long that I had to revisit recent posts to see where I last left you. 

Well, as for my health, my annual CT scan and appointment with my surgical oncologist went quite well. The word he used to describe the scan results was "pristine." A word that I never thought I would appreciate quite so much. Praise God!! So my focus has been less on cancer and more on other health issues, though God and I are working together to fight through these as well. I continue to pray that the physicians figure out a treatment that will help arthritis that has become quite painful. There is not much I can do with that one, so I reckon I will continue plugging through and see what happens.

As far as my career goes, God has begun to clarify His mission for this, resulting in a mix of anxiety and excitement. I am currently in the process of doing some research on a few things and waiting for the input from others who could be involved. The possibilities are incredible and I can not wait to see where God takes this idea.

So, if you are keeping score, you will notice that my word for the year is "REST" and I am dealing with chronic health issues, in the process of working full time and attempting to set up a private practice doing crisis services, raising my 17yr old daughter who is learning how to drive and taking college classes, and yes, I continue to be involved with my congregation. Craziness. I love each piece, yet it is all crazy just the same. How is rest involved here? What is God teaching me?

In the Merriam Webster Dictionary, the meaning of rest includes sleep, freedom from activity or labor, a period of inactivity, peace of mind or spirit, something used for support, and free of anxieties. I guess I have always thought of resting as the definitions involving inactivity, sleep, being still. Well, that has not transpired this year so I began wondering what I was missing. Oh...peace of mind or spirit. Free of anxieties. How would I find peace of mind and spirit? How am I able to be free of anxieties? 

Recently there have been a few songs that hit me squarely in the heart and reminded me of how I may be able to rest in the craziness of my life and upcoming changes. One song, I first heard during worship in church. This one hits me so hard that I am not always able to make it through the whole thing without breaking into a puddle of tears as I beg God to help me trust without borders. 



This next one hit home when the Sidewalk Prophets came to our church for a concert, then spent the weekend leading praise and worship. A really cool thing was that I had the honor of interpreting for them as I was on the schedule that weekend. Amazing experience. If you ever have a chance to go see them, I recommend it. Great group of guys!! Anyway, the song they ended the service with was one that I believe was specifically for me. I did not interpret this one as much as prayed it in ASL in front of the congregation. I have never had that happen before. Moist eyes and nearly forgetting there were people in front of me. And guess what? This song nearly plays non-stop on the radio and on the shuffle on my iPod. Do you think God is trying to tell me something?


So to answer my question about the word "Rest"? Well, another definition in the Merriam Webster is to remain confident; to trust. Oh. Trust. So we have relief from anxiety, peace, and.... trust. So I am to confidently rest in the fact that God is in control and I am to be obedient to His call. Not an easy task, I assure you. I thought I tended to trust Him, yet I wonder if, at times,it is more of an apathetic behavior than a heartfelt release of control to the One I know has my best in mind.

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith would be made stronger in the presence of my Savior." ~ Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) by Hillsong

"If there's a road I should walk help me find it. If I need to be still, give me peace for the moment. Whatever your will, can you help me find it? I will trust in You. You've never failed before. I will trust in You." ~ Help Me Find It by Sidewalk Prophets
Well, it is surely a good thing that I still have most of the second half of 2013 to work more on "resting." Who knows? Maybe God will tell me that I need another few years on this one. He is certainly finally getting my attention. 

"We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. In Him our hearts rejoice for we trust in His holy name. May Your unfailing love be with us, Lord, even as we put our hope in You."  ~ Psalm 33:20-22