Living by Restoration or By the Words of Others?

You're worthless. 

You're not good enough. 

You're too long winded.

For someone as obese as you....

You're pitchy when you sing. You tend to go flat. 

You're too judgmental.

Why can't you be like everyone else?

Get back in your place. 

I can read between the lines. I know better than you what you're thinking. What you really mean is......

Don't talk so much.

You're so bossy.

You're a loser.

You're such a victim.

You're getting fat so don't eat so much.

You're so stupid.

Why can't you be as athletic as your brothers?

Why can't you get better grades?  

You have psoriatic arthritis. 

Because diabetes is in your family, you're probably going to get it no matter what you do.

 It's hard to tell that someone is bloated when they have such a big stomach (when it was really symptoms related to stage 3 appendix cancer).

You're neglecting your job as a Mom and housewife by being involved with......

You're not my sister anymore.  

I don't want to be your friend anymore.      

You're too much like a counselor.

 People your size tend to have acid reflux (when it was really a gallbladder

attack).

You need to be obedient to your husband.

You definitely married the right man (even though he was seriously abusive). 

I know he shouldn't have hit you or threatened you, but what did you do to make him mad? 

I know I shouldn't have lost my temper, but you knew I was already upset about.... 

Why did you push my buttons? 

You need to be open to getting remarried since you're still young enough to have a life with a man. 

Don't be a social worker. You won't make enough money to support yourself.

These are things that I've been told throughout the past nearly 50 years of my life. Painful words. Judgmental words. For a Words of Affirmation girl, those hit SO hard. For a pretty significant extrovert, they tell me how wrong it is to be an extrovert and that extroverts are not as good or smart as introverts. For someone who loves with every fiber of my being, these words are incredibly painful. 

Fast forward to this year, a year of restoration, and I am beginning to learn how to set firm boundaries and sort through the words I'm willing to accept as truth and those that I choose to let bounce off as untruths. My best friend and I went to the movies last night, where we saw the movie "Miracles From Heaven."  This movie reminded me that, no matter what happens in our lives, God is always in control. As we put on every piece of the "full armor of God," I remember that the first piece of armor is the belt of truth. We also are instructed to pick up the shield of faith, "with which we can extinguish every flaming arrow of the evil one." Harsh words may be slung at us, that are all too often lies meant to hurt and deceive. Hard and scary diagnoses may be given. People may choose to walk away from us if we are different from them or have different beliefs than they do. While these can be hard and painful, we are promised that, if we pick up the shield of faith, it will extinguish ALL the flaming arrows. I have begun to realize that, perhaps I have given these words too much credit and a stronger hold in my life than necessary.


People are free to have their own opinions and feelings about my life, my appearance, my voice, my work, my words, my health, and my marital status. Their beliefs or opinions of these situations are theirs, not my own, and I am not required to own them. Part of this restoration process, I am discovering, is learning how to identify the truth and adjust my lens to be more like the lens of my Father. This requires faith. This requires a desire to move past the hurt and embrace the love of God. Our pastor recently spoke about various life cycles. 

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under theheavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace."                           ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

The life cycles he referenced were:

• Courtship
• Infancy
• Growth 
• Adolescence - Struggling
• PRIME - in the ZONE
• Stability - Not growing. Just kind of there. No pizzazz. No joy. Nothing's really happening. Not living. Just existing.

What prevents us from moving forward and doing what we need to do? 

• Fear
• Entitlement
• Perfectionism  

We've got to break through these. Do it scared. Do whatever you need to do to become the person God created you to be. Don't accept stability. That's not what God has in store for you.                                                                              
                                                                                           ~ Pastor Ray Armstrong

I think this is my time to restore. Restore myself as the person God created me to be. To not only figure out how to see myself through God's lens, but to also discern the harsh words spoken to me from the words of truth God would have me hear and accept.

Am I overweight according to the BMI chart? Yes. Could I use more exercise? Absolutely. Can I eat healthier? Yep. Does that mean my value is less because of this? Absolutely NOT.

Do I carry a perfect tune every time I sing? No. Does everyone? Probably not. Does that discount the words from others who tell me that I have a "beautiful voice"? It probably shouldn't. (Obviously still a difficult one for me to work with.)

Am I a cancer survivor? Yes. Do I live in fear that the cancer will return? No. But I am very aware of my body and, honestly, I do experience some anxiety when I consider the possibility that I could hear the news of a recurrence some day.  

Was I an honor roll student in high school? No. I did, however make the Dean's List and was part of the Phi Alpha Honor Society while in university. Then graduated with my Master's degree with a 3.97 GPA. Do either of these mean I'm really smart or lack intelligence? No. It just means that I did better in some classes than others.   

Because I experienced domestic violence, does that mean I am a victim? No. Did I cause him to be angry or cause the abuse? Not at all. It means that my ex-husband was unable to control his temper and used power and control to achieve his needs in our marriage.

If friends or family find it difficult to accept the part of me that is a helper and a counselor and choose to have limited relationships with me does that mean I need to change fields? Should I change my personality in order to please them? No. It means that these friends or family have their own struggles and find it difficult to interact with me on a close and personal level. I can still love them dearly and hope and pray that they change their mind at some point and time. I still miss them and still love them unconditionally. 

 If others struggle with what I do for a living, should I reconsider this field? No way. This is the world that I feel God has called me to. I have a successful business and am finding that my professional world is expanding and growing far beyond what I could ever ask or imagine. 

This part of my journey to restoration appears to be a place in which I am as an adolescent, struggling to figure out who and where I am. I'm not nearly in a level of stability and certainly not in a PRIME level. I can choose to continue trying to please others or live in the level of pain, or I can choose to follow the path that God is calling me to be on. A path that includes attempting to see myself through my Father's eyes, restoring the me that God sent me to this world to be. I can choose to find joy and gratitude in this path, in both good times and hard times. I can buckle up with the belt of truth everyday, put on the breastplate of righteousness, have my feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. I can hold onto the shield of faith and take hold of the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit - which is the Word of God. I believe this is the best way to achieve the restoration God is trying to give to me. 

• TRUTH
• RIGHTEOUSNESS
• PEACE
• FAITH
• SALVATION
• WORD OF GOD

If I hold to Christ's teaching, I am really His disciple. Then I will know the truth and the truth will set me free. ~ Ephesians 8:31-32

Based on the things I've been told in my life, I shouldn't be doing what I'm doing. I graduated from high school with a 2.97 GPA and ended my freshman year of college with a 2.63 GPA, then quit school to get married. I should never have been able to return to school 20 years later and earn two college degrees, with good grades, as a single mother. I earned my BA in 2007 and my Master's degree in 2008. Fast forward 8 years later, and I now have a successful private practice that is thriving. God is doing incredible things with my career.

While my 17 year marriage involved domestic violence, the police were never called (which is not always a good thing, for the record. I could have really been harmed at times.) and my ex-husband and myself were able to remain friends and continued to co-parent our children. Not many marriages are able to end that way. Children of divorced homes often struggle in their adult lives. Both of my children are now in community colleges moving forward with their education. 

My gallbladder issue that I mentioned before? It "should" have burst, which likely would have killed me. It didn't. The appendix cancer that was found at stage 3? It is way too often a terminal illness, though not always. My recovery was quick and I remain cancer-free to my knowledge. 

I share these things with you to point out that harsh words are not always truth. When I reflect on the negative words spoken into my life, I "should not" have the life I do. Freedom from all of these negative and hurtful words sounds wonderful to me. Now to learn to identify the truth in the words of others (and my own self-talk) from the words of God. Definitely restorative as God does the work HE wants done in me

.

all contents (c) 2016 Laura Inglis

Let the Restoration Begin

As typical for my life after God gives me my word for the year, this year has had me running, becoming more and more curious about the next months of 2016. If you have read my blog for very long, you are aware of at least two things. I am a clinical social worker and I have struggled for most of my life with my self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness. God has been working on and with me for several years, teaching me to accept myself and my life's journey. 

I have always been passionate about people who are considered "less than." Those people who suffer in silence, who are abused/neglected, who feel they are unable to start a journey towards healing and wholeness. I was provided with an opportunity last Fall to attend a conference in Southern California that focused on Mental Health and the Church. The primary goal for this conference was to bring awareness to the stigma of mental illness. Entirely too many people suffer in silence and that saddens me. Christians currently have a reputation in so many realms of being judgmental and hateful to those who are different from ourselves. One of the reasons for this is, in my opinion, due to closed mindedness to anything that we do not understand or due to beliefs that are different from our own. Competition as to who is right springs up quickly and causes so much pain. Need I even come close to our current election year antics and horrors? Enough said about that....

Myself, being raised in a controlling and authoritarian home, marrying into an abusive marriage, becoming a divorcee, then followed by becoming a "returning adult student" to receive my Social Work degrees left me to have a great deal of understanding for these "differences" between people. I was always different than others around me. I had a few close friends throughout school, but was never really considered part of the "in" crowd (Fortunately, as years passed by, we all matured and became less invested in the popularity once felt so important. Thanks to social media, I have had the joy of reconnecting with many of my classmates, which has been a joy to my adult life.)....but I digress.... 

As a private practice clinician, I have the privilege of being able to intertwine my faith into my therapeutic orientation or type of therapy I use, as I believe a person's spiritual life is another part of their "system" (emotional life, physical life, sexual life, etc). Most of my current caseload are folks who have come to me in part because I do provide faith-based counseling. A few months ago, I was working with a young lady who has found herself trying to escape an abusive marriage and is jumping through the court system as they determine appropriate parenting for her young child. In one of our sessions, I felt a tug to read Ephesians 6:10-18 (putting on the full Armor of God) to her, which I did. Several months later (a much longer story of which I won't bore you), this passage found itself taped outside of my shower. One morning, in my shower, as I was praying this Scripture, the word "RESTORE" came to my mind as I read that we are to "stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist." Pondering my harsh experiences and my own feelings of being "less than," I realized that God desires to restore in me HIS truth, not the truth of others. As long as I hold onto the truth of others, I am not buckling THE belt of truth around my waist.

I began to think about the hurtful experiences in my life and wondered why they hurt so

much. I began to understand that God created me to experience love the most via affirming words and quality time. When people speak hurtful or harsh words to me, it's like a sword in my heart. When people avoid spending time with me or communicating with me, I feel neglected and unloved. When I graduated from college and then graduate school, I felt a sense of accomplishment unlike what I have experienced before. When I recalled this feeling, I remembered the pain I felt from a family member and then from a friend I love as a family member when they each refused to discuss a conflict in person because I am a counselor. The words spoken to me during both occasions were so incredibly hurtful to me, as I felt attacked as a person as well as feeling it undermined my sense of accomplishments. I have applied the words of other people to my view of self in relationship to my appearance, my clothing style, hairstyle, my weight, my parenting....shoot.... basically all of me. I have never really known how to see my strengths. Lest this appear to be a victim-fest, please allow me to clarify. When I see myself in a mirror, in photos, on video, I provide judgement to myself, not affirmations. It is not only my friends, family, or others who speak harsh words to me. I am guilty as well, probably even more guilty. I most often will hold tightly to the words of criticism, rather than words of affirmation, and apply them to the lens through which I look. What God revealed to me is that this is not the truth He wants buckled around my waist.

One of my dearest friends throughout most of my life, since adolescence, uncovered part of the reason I was so hurt when she informed me recently that my personality has always been that of a counselor/helper. "When I ever needed to talk to someone about actual issues, big situations, I would always come to you. You were always the one we all went to for your wisdom and ability to counsel us." She went on to say that my college degrees simply made it more official and gave me the professional training that went hand in hand with my personality. The light bulb turned on when I put this with my recent shower experience. God created me to be a social worker. He created me to counsel and be a helper. When these words from people so dear to me were spoken, they hurt me to the very core of my being, because that invalidated who I am as a person. Who God created me to be. As well as speaking hurtful words, they both also basically removed themselves from my life. Both love languages were slayed and damage was done that continues to hurt today. 


What I realized in that shower conversation with God was that He created me to be the person I am and He has chosen this year to be a year of restoration for me. To restore me to be the person He created, offer healing from the pain I have experienced, and help me to recognize the truth instead of embrace the lies that have been showered over me much of my life. 

"If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free." ~ John 8:31b-32

My job is to learn to hold to God's teaching, embrace His words rather than the words of others and to cherish my time with Him instead of grieve my time with others. When I change this focus, my heart will be restored and I will be able to view through God's lenses, not my own. I wonder what that will look like. I have to also say that, being human and loving those people I spoke of and missing these relationships that I hold so dearly, I wonder often if any part of these will be restored as well. I guess only time will tell.







all contents (c 2016) Laura Inglis

What does RESTORE look like for me?

While pondering the word "restore," I did my usual research for the definition of the word. Here is what Merriam Webster has to say: 

To give back or return; to put or bring back into existence or use; to bring back or put back into a former or original state; and to put again in possession of something. 

Then I went to Scripture to see what it says. As expected, the Bible has a lot to say about restoration. 

"But all who devour you will be devoured; all your enemies will go into exile. Those who plunder you will be plundered; all who make spoil of you I will despoil. But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,' declares the Lord, because you are called an outcast, Zion for whom no one cares.'" ~ Jeremiah 30:16-17 NIV

 "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." ~ Psalm 51:10-12 NIV

"How much longer will you forget me, Lord? Forever? How much longer will you hide yourself from me? How long must I endure trouble? How long will sorrow fill my heart day and night? How long will my enemies triumph over me? Look at me, O Lord my God, and answer me. Restore my strength; don't let me die. Don't let my enemies say, 'We have defeated him.' Don't let them gloat over my downfall. I rely on your constant love' I will be glad, because you will rescue me. I will sing to you, O Lord, because you have been good to me." ~ Psalm 13 GNB

 "I have so many enemies, Lord, so many who turn against me! They talk about me and say, 'God will not help him.' But you, O Lord, are always my shield from danger; you give me victory and restore my courage. I call to the Lord for help, and from his sacred hill he answers me. I lie down and sleep, and all night long the Lord protects me. I am not afraid of the thousands of enemies who surround me on every side. Come, Lord! Save me, my God! You punish all my enemies and leave them powerless to harm me. Victory comes from the Lord - may he bless his people." ~ Psalm 3 GNB

"Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you - unless, of course, you fail the test? And I trust that you will discover that we have not failed the test. Now we pray to God that you will not do anything wrong - not so that people will see that we have stood the test but so that you will do what is right even though we may seem to have failed. For we cannot do anything against the truth, but 

only for the truth. We are glad whenever we are weak but you are strong; and our prayer is that you may be fully restored. This is why I write these things when I am absent, that when I come I may not have to be harsh in my use of authority - the authority the Lord gave me for building you up, not for tearing you down. Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you." ~ 2 Corinthians 13:5-11 NIV

Ever since receiving my word for this year, I have pondered and prayed what this means for me. What do you have for me, Lord? What am I to focus on? When I pull the viewfinder back, there are many parts of my life that could use some restoration. Where does this start? Relationships that are on the outs? Health concerns? Finances? Our fixer-upper home that still requires a great deal of work? 

What about looking through a spiritual lens? Where am I in my walk with God? Does that need restoration? As one of our pastors spoke last weekend, "Am I all in?" Oddly enough, there is a great deal of focus on David of the Old Testament in my life recently. Talk about some restoration time period. That could entail a whole other blog post. Maybe another time. What I will point out is that David was the "runt of the litter." He was the one of Jesse's family least expected to do great things, yet God said he was a man after God's own heart. (1 Samuel 13:14) I pause to reflect on my heart and recall so many of my struggles in recent years and realize how my heart has been hurt and the scars that are there. I am beginning to think that part of this restoration could be simply of.....my heart. I have recently been reminded of a time in my life many years ago when I became severely depressed, even to the point of considering taking my own life. I felt that God had thrown me out, no longer wanting me. Telling me that I was worthless. While the depression ultimately lifted and I, fortunately, never acted on my thoughts of self-harm, I began moving forward again. Though I continued to carry painful scars from years of hurt in so many aspects of my life. Could I dare to think, or even hope, that this restoration could be God restoring me and helping me to become the person He created me to be? That the plans He has had for my life will finally be coming to fruition? I wonder.

What I DO know for a fact is that God never wastes a step, so my life experiences, pain, hurt, successes....None of it is for naught. I wait to see how my Father will make use of all of it.

all contents (c) 2016 Laura Inglis

Finding My Word for 2016

2016 will be the fifth year that I have been involved with the OneWord365 idea. After spending 2015 on a "Journey," I actually kind of wondered if I was going to continue participating with it. I spent the last month in prayer over this decision as well as pondering the journey of 2015. My understanding is that many people choose their word in lieu of a New Year's Resolution. I choose to spend time in prayer to find out what God wants me to focus on throughout the year. As 2015 ended and 2016 began, my answer came that I was not yet finished and my new word would be "RESTORE." As there are many reasons I can imagine that word would show up in my head, I prayed for a week, asking for confirmation that this word was from God. This confirmation came in quite the interesting way that I thought I would share with you.



My best friend and I like to take the week after Christmas and go off for a post holiday break from everything, somewhere in the Pacific Northwest. A very dear friend and I began this tradition several years ago, leaving our children home with their fathers, who were both off of work during the holidays. It was wonderful for us "stay-at-home Moms" to get a much deserved break. Fast forward several years, my best friend and I continue the tradition as she is a teacher so off of work during the holidays and I take the time off from my business to re-coup and return to my clients all fresh and ready to go. This year, we chose to spend a week on Orcas Island. We were fortunate enough to see some of God's awesome artwork while driving around and hiking. I have gotten to a point in my life where I really enjoy hiking and desire to do more of that as time goes on. 

Anyway, I digress. While we were on the island, God did what He so often does to get my attention. He used music. The playlist on my iPhone that is set on random played a set of songs all relating to restoration. It definitely grabbed my attention. While driving back to the ferry after our week was complete, I was listening to the music and praying that God confirm my "assigned" word or correct my thoughts. All of a sudden, I saw an eagle flying below the treeline, headed straight towards my car with prey in it's talons. It was so absolutely incredible. We were on the road alone so I stopped the car, just staring at the large bird as it veered away towards it's destination. Then I saw the eagle's mate just ahead, flying towards the one that had flown towards us. I just sat there in awe, wishing I had been able to snap a photo of the experience. It all just happened so fast and, apparently it was for our eyes only. After the birds had departed, a reminder came into my mind. Eagles were at one time endangered. Then they were restored in number, however they remain a protected species. One might think this was a message from the Lord. I believe so. My next thought was to attempt to recall any Scriptures that pertained to eagles and, of course a passage in Isaiah 40 came to mind. 

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." ~ Isaiah 40-28-31





That God would send me such a message so clearly, absolutely stunned me. My eyes filled with tears and I was in awe. Not only did I receive confirmation about my word for the year, I had an experience that led me to believe I was in the presence of my God. How does restoration happen? Well, perhaps it is directly from the hands of God. I don't know what this year will look like, but I will explore the idea of restoration in another post. This post may require some pondering for me as well as some of you. That experience occurred about a week ago and I am still processing what all of this means for 2016. RESTORE? RESTORATION? I guess we shall see.



all contents (c) 2016 Laura Inglis

What a Journey It Has Been

2015 was the fourth year of my participation in the OneWord365 exercise. My first word was ACCEPT, then it was REST, followed by RETURN and now JOURNEY. It never ceases to amaze me how the word I feel I am given applies to my life through the year. Being a woman of faith, I believe that God gives me the word as something for me to hold onto and focus on as I work towards becoming the woman He has created me to be. 


The word this year was JOURNEY, and a journey it has been. As I review my previous blogs about this word, I'm not sure my life is much different than it was a year ago, while at the same time, I feel like my life has changed in so many ways personally, professionally, and spiritually. The professional area is a bit simpler, yet huge changes continue to occur as I travel the clinical social work road. As I look back on that path, I remain in awe of where I have come from to stand where I do. As a returning adult student who was able to earn a Bachelor of Arts in Social Work degree, followed by a Masters in Social Work degree, then three years later receive my state license, and now having a sole proprietor business license, I am currently in the process of becoming a professional limited liability corporation. I ended up leaving the job as an emergency room hospital social worker, even though I absolutely loved the job, but my business was too busy for me to emotionally and physically handle both. Over the past two years, I have been applying to insurance companies, requesting that they be willing to pay for their customer's ability to receive counseling from me and to have confidence that it is in their customer's best interest that my treatment be an option for them. Wow. Did I really just say that I can provide services to people that may be in their best interest? Something I find myself speaking to with my clients on a regular basis is the difference between arrogance and confidence. Per Merriam Webster Dictionary, here are the definitions:

Arrogance - an insulting way of thinking or behaving that comes from believing that you are better, smarter, or more important than other people.

Confidence - a feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something; a feeling or belief that someone or something is good or has the ability to succeed at something; the feeling of being certain that something will happen or that something is true.

What I read into these definitions is that arrogance is stepping on others or putting oneself over them, while confidence is knowing that you do something well not conditional on the ability of others. Through this professional journey, I have learned that I can have confidence that I can do my job well and help many of those people who walk into my office or who come to me for help and that does not mean I am arrogant. Do I still struggle with that confidence? Absolutely. I'm sure that will develop with time.



This leads to my personal world. There are people who have known me well for most of my life who tell me that they are not surprised that I am a clinical social worker/therapist, as this role goes hand in hand to the person they have always known me to be. While I have not always been a therapist, I have always been a helper; offered an ear and a shoulder to those who need it; and displayed grace and mercy to people around me. While these are humbling words, I hope they are part of the legacy that I leave. Now fast forward to a few close and personal relationships that have gone south over the past few years. These relationships include family and friends who have said that I am no longer family and/or that we can no longer be friends. One of the things thrown at me in each of those conflicts was that they did not feel they were able to have a face to face heart to heart out of belief that I will turn it into a counseling session. These words were so incredibly hurtful to me, as I try to leave work at work and not keep my therapist hat on outside of the office, even though it is not always successful. Part of my journey this year is the realization that these words thrown out at me were spoken out of their hurt, frustration, and insecurity not my behavior. What this journey has taught me is that my helper personality is just that. Part of my personality. Part of who I am. Just because I carry the title of clinical social worker/therapist does not minimize my character in my relationships with others. While the words still hurt, I am learning to not give more credit to them than they are due. I can learn to have confidence in my character traits, attempt to accept myself, and become the person God has created me to be.




Part of becoming the person God has created me to be is the spiritual portion of my journey. While I said previously that I left the hospital due to it being too much for me to handle both my shifts there as well as my private practice, there is an additional reason I made that decision. That is that I felt like God has been calling me more into ministry. I had the opportunity in October to join thousands of other people at Saddleback Church in Southern California at a conference about mental health and the church. Fortunately I was with a few others from my church family who all care about the role the church has in awareness, advocacy, and help for individuals and families who struggle with mental illness. To say this was a wonderful experience would be an understatement. When I started my private practice, one of my top goals was to be a resource for the local churches. When people need help, they frequently turn to the church and churches, all too often, have fallen short of the much needed help. My belief is that therapists can help fill in that gap, especially when they are clinicians who are also Christians. I still don't know where this call to ministry and mental health and the church will lead, but I do know this will be a pretty amazing part of my continued journey. God has also blessed me with a church family and Christian friends with whom I am able to develop much closer relationships. Those who will hold me accountable, who are there if I need someone to talk to, and who are like-minded in belief. Those who know they can contact me for help or support, to meet for a cup of coffee (or hot chocolate since I don't drink coffee) to talk, cry, grieve, etc. I guess part of what I am saying is that I am learning more about how to become the person God has created me to be. Part of this journey has been learning to identify where I stand and what I stand on.

As well as philosophical introspection on my life journey, this year has included a lot of literal traveling. 2015 was rang in on a vacation with my best buddy and is ending on another winter vacation with the same friend. I had the fun experience of traveling around the western part of the U.S. on many road trips. The word "journey" has re-ignited my enjoyment of traveling. I sure hope I can continue this trend. My "boss" has shown herself to be pretty encouraging to me by allowing me to take some serious amounts of self-care. Self-care that encourages me to "do life" intentionally, not just let it happen. Scripture encourages us to take a Sabbath on a weekly basis, modeled by God after creating the world and by His Son while here on earth. I have realized that taking time away from work and from life is a great way to rest, recoup, and focus on what I believe God has planned for me. This year has been what I believe to be the start of a lot of healing and continued journeying to accepting myself and my limits, resting in God, and returning everything to God until He gives me back what He wants me to have. I'm not completely sure what 2016 holds for me, but if my suspicion is correct, it could be another year of many changes. If you enjoy following my story, stay tuned and we'll see what happens together. 

• all contents (c) 2015 Laura Inglis